I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
