whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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