I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
