tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
