I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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