I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
