dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
