He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
