good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
