Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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