I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
