I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
