I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Say something about gay babies.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
