Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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