This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
