i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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