I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
