I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I will be naked everywhere
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
