I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
