trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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