so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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