Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
