I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
