I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
