He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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