Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
