hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
