mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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