Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
