My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He shit in the fireplace
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
