But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
