just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
