You're so nebulous sometimes
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
