Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
