This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
