all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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