you're like a bully in the Christmas story
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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