The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
