Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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