I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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