like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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