I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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