I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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