i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
