I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
