I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
