Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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