I understand Curling. That high.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize