so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
