Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
