discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
