Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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