Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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